


We Had a Bit of a Falling Out

by emiliepond



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock BBC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2017-12-11 19:58:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emiliepond/pseuds/emiliepond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q gets a call from Mycroft in the middle of work telling him that Sherlock had committed dual suicide with Moriarty. Q, not having spoken to either of his brothers in years, gets upset.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Q’s phone has been buzzing all day. The number was blocked, which meant it could only be one of two people. He didn’t want to deal with either of them. So, he put his phone on vibrate and shoved it in his laptop case. Eve showed up at Q branch later that day, with a certain 00 agent trailing behind her looking sulky.

“The files you wanted.” she said sweetly, placing them down on his desk.

“You’re a saint.” he replied offering her a small smile. James sighed audibly behind them, proclaiming his boredom. “Is there a problem 007?”

James rolled his eyes, “No, nothing sir.”

Q smirked “Maybe you’ll learn to take better care of the equipment ” Bond had been put on probation after his latest mission nearly went amiss. His Walther had an unfortunate encounter with a train. James scowled at him. “Well, that’s a pretty face.” he teased returning to the pile of shrapnel that once was the very gun, the third James had been commissioned that year. Q felt bad for him, doing office work made him antsy, and grumpy and it made for some wild experiments in the bedroom. Q fidgeted in his chair remembering last night, and the tenderness of his inner thighs. Q stood up, with an incredible poker face, a lesser man would have winced, he walked over to Bond and gave him a tiny chaste kiss, any of the minions who saw, pretended they didn’t. Eve gave the pair of them a smug grin “Stop it with the sulking, would you?”

James smirked “I thought we had to be strictly professional here.”

“Strictly.” he replied with a wink. Q’s phone buzzed again, loudly. Bond quirked an eyebrow at Q when he didn’t even react.

~

“Is someone bothering you?” he asked, Bond was itching for a fight, Q could tell. He smoothly thought up an excuse.

“No, just my schedule reminders.” he shrugged, picking apart the gun and making two piles, ‘not at all salvageable’ and ‘good, I don’t have to start from scratch.’ Bond gave him a skeptical look. Q sighed “No 007 it’s nothing to worry about.” 

His phone buzzed again. 

James was too fast for him, he whipped the phone out of the laptop bag and looked at the number. Q tried to wrestle it out of his hands but to no avail. James tossed it to Eve who caught it, and to Q’s horror answered.

“Hello Q’s phone, Eve speaking” there as the rustled sound of a voice on the other line, “Yes, he’s here.” Q shook his head furiously “Of course you can.” she handed Q the cell phone, all the minions had stopped to listen in.

“Q speaking.” he said with an air of exasperation.

“ Geoffrey it’s been far too long.” Mycroft drawled on the other end of the line.

“What the fuck is so important?” the minions all winced. When Q cursed it’s safe to say you need to stay out of the crossfire. There was an uncomfortable silence, then Mycroft spoke again.

“We need to talk Geoffrey I wouldn't call if it wasn't extremely important.” Q looked to Bond who seemed slightly annoyed. ‘Sorry’ he mouthed, James only shrugged crossing his arms.

“What is it? Someone better have died!” There as silence again, Mycroft was waiting, but waiting for what? “Oh god.” he breathed.

“I know the timing is inconvenient, I’m sorry.”

Q spluttered incoherently “the timing?” he knew Mycroft was cold but, “Are you fucking joking?” Mycroft tried to answer “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You need to relax, you’re among co-workers.” Q looked up, his face was pale, Eve looked concerned and Bond had taken a fighting stance. 

“What happened?” he asked keeping his voice level.

“James Moriarty happened.” he didn't want to give too much detail over the phone

“Thank you for calling me.” Q said quietly.

“You are my baby brother after all” and with that they hung up.

~

Q cleared his throat, looking around the room at his minions who immediately busied themselves. Nosy little shits. Eve was the first to speak.

“Q?” she asked tentatively

“I’m fine.” he answered more harshly than intended, he took a deep shaky breath “I need a moment.” and with as much dignity as he could muster he raced out of Q Branch slamming the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Q lets out his feelings, and he and Bond have a cuddle.

Q passed faces in the hallway but paid no attention to them, he climbed the impossible twisty staircase making his way to ground level. A stitch was poking irritatingly in his side, he ducked into a random office locking the door behind him. He sat down in the corner of the room, so not to be disturbed.

~

Bond trekked up the staircase, his senses were heightened as if on a mission, tracking a target. He heard a door shut and then footsteps in a corridor up ahead a few moments later another door closed. It took him no time at all to figure out where Q had gone he peeked through the window on the office door, seemingly unoccupied. The chairs were moved about a bit, hardly noticeable, but enough to be suspicious to a 00. James tried the door which was locked. “Q?” he asked tentatively enough, he strained his ear listening for any sign of movement.

Q heard him but didn’t respond. He quickly wiped his face and adjusted his jumper, in case Bond got any ideas of barging in.

Bond sighed, he took a bobby pin he nicked out of Eve’s desk out of his pocket and made quick work of the lock. As great as it would feel to kick the door in, he was on probation and he’d like not to be soon. He looked around the room spotting a mop of dark hair. He locked the door behind him and sat next to his lover. “Geoffery what happened?” Q only shook his head. Bond wrapped a protective arm around his quartermaster pulling him onto his lap. Q let his walls come down, if only for a second, he let out a tiny sob into James’ shirt. Bond stroked his hair whispering sweet nothings in his ear “I’m here, it’s alright, I’m here.” A few moments passed and Q regained his composure.

“M warned me this might happen.” he sounded miserable and broken. Bond didn’t fully understand, he waited for Q to explain, in his own time of course. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you James.”

Bond didn’t react to the statement, it was imperative they both kept secrets; part of the job. Instead, he kissed the younger man’s cheek, whisking away one of his tears.

“I have a family.” he said plainly “Which is entirely unique in our line of work. I haven’t spoken to either of my brothers in years. M, the original M I mean, she said something like this might happen and it will be difficult to cope, compromising my performance.” Q couldn’t stand the idea of putting people in harms way because of his emotions. He wasn’t as disconnected as Sherlock or Mycroft, he tried very hard to unplug from the world, but he couldn’t. All three of the Holmes brothers blamed that on his age, he still had a childish hope for humanity. Mycroft told him once it would be his cause of death, Q bitterly realizes now, he was probably right.

~

James nodded “So who was the call from? The number was blocked.” his voice was soft and soothing the way it got when he spoke to a wounded or dying victim. His hand traced tiny comforting circles on Q’s back.

“Mycroft.” he said, he knew the name would be familiar.

“Holmes?” James looked surprised “You told me your surname was Boothroyd.”

“It’s my mum’s maiden name, shes’ dead now so, no one can be traced through it.” James nodded again

“So you’re related to Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes?” Q wiped a tear off his cheek. “What happened, love?” Q’s heart fluttered at the term of endearment, but he cursed himself for it, he’s supposed to be grieving.

“Sherlock’s dead.” he tried to keep his voice level, and quite honestly failed. He took a shaky inhale of breath. “He’s dead.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Q tries to deal with recent developments and James tries his best to help him.

James didn’t have any idea how to respond. He’s one person who didn’t handle grief correctly. He bottled it up and kept it out of sight. That’s how he dealt with his parent’s death, how he dealt with the death of Vesper, and M; how he still deals with it. Q cleared his throat and stood up dusting off his jumper. He muttered something under his breath akin to “keep calm and carry on.” Bond stood up after him, their little moment of intimacy was gone; back to business Q looked down at his watch, they’d been gone fifteen minutes. He nodded at James, a ‘We’ll finish this later’ was unspoken. James winked his ‘Whether you like it or not.’ Q headed out the door, leaving the 00 behind. Bond milled around for another couple minutes before exiting the room, they didn’t want to be caught together. Bond was calculating his next move. He couldn’t betray Q’s trust, but he was also really worried about him. In the end he headed down the hall to M’s office.

~

“Come in.” M sat at his desk, rifling through over a dozen files “What is it you need 007?” He sounded rather bored and irritated; as usual.

“The rest of the day off.” he answered.

“You’re not obligated to be here until after the weekend.” he said, not even bothering to look up “I was under the impression you were here willingly.”

“Not for me, for Q.” M thought about this for a second his lips turned up in what could be mistaken as a smile.

“You sure care about the well being of your quartermaster, 007.”

~

Q went back to Q Branch and headed back to his desk. On his way there he passed Eve’s kind sympathetic smile. “Tea?” she asked.

“You’re a saint.” he winked at her while she hurried out of the room. His text alert went off [Get your coat.] He rolled his eyes, not even needing to check the sender to know who it was. [What are you planning?] Eve reappeared, handing him his mug, filled to the brim with a light golden-colored tea, it smelt pleasant, but it wasn’t earl grey. He took a sip,

“Honey.” he could taste the sweetness almost a little too strongly, but he smiled at her all the same.

“Yes dear?” she teased returning the smile.

“Har Har.” he rolled his eyes.

Her eyebrows stitched together in concern. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m always okay, I’m the king of okay.” he took another thoughtful sip of tea.

She giggled at the reference. “That’s a horrible title.”

“I know.” he muttered against the brim of the teacup, just then Bond appeared in the doorway of Q Branch walking up to the pair. He rubbed Q’s arm affectionately.

“Let’s get out of here.” he suggested looking at Q with a look of such devotion it took the young man’s breath away. Eve smirked walking away to give them some privacy. Q gave him a warning look, ‘strictly professional.’ James shrugged it off.

“I can’t just take the day off, James.” he whispered

“Sure you can, M insists.” Q paled a little, how could he do that? How dare he go tell M! James, seeing Q’s expression, explained further. “He understands that everyone gets sick sometimes.” Q quirked an eyebrow, and sighed, he wasn’t going to win this fight.

“Give me ten minutes.” Q turned and began diligently typing on his laptop, setting a series of lock downs to protect it.

~

The cab arrived at Q’s flat around noon. Q fumbled with the keys for a moment before handing them to the other man to open the door. Not even a second passed before Q had Bond up against a wall kissing him roughly. James knew Q was deflecting his emotions, and for a moment, James was going to let him. Q’s hands ventured greedily down the older man’s lower back. “Stop.” James whispered breathlessly. Q faltered, looking intently at Bond. “I’m going to make you some tea.” Q pouted crossing his arms.

Clearly Q had misread James’ intentions “If you’re going to coddle me because of this I’ll tell M I had a miraculous recovery.”

“‘Seriously Geoffrey ‘This?’ you can’t even say it!” Q looked helplessly at James.

“Tea would be great.” he whispered looking at the ground. James kissed his forehead and then nodded heading into the kitchen.

“Go put on something comfortable.” James suggested putting the kettle on. Q disappeared into the bedroom, he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a random shirt. When he reappeared James was sitting on the couch with two cups of tea in front of him on the table, he was casually flipping through channels on the television. James looked up at Q and smirked “Nice.” Q looked down and realized he was wearing one of James’ shirts.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to take it.” He made a move to go back and change but James stood up ensnaring him in a protective hug and dragged him back over to the couch.

“Looks good on you.” he mumbled into Q’s mop of hair. Q sighed shutting his eyes as James breathed into Q’s neck pressing a kiss behind his ear. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly.” he breathed trying very hard not to lose it as James’ tongue ran it’s way up the shell of Q’s ear. Q knew he owed James answers though, “How about - oh – we talk a little later?” James liked that idea.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The words were there, hanging on the tip of his tongue. He even opened his mouth slightly to speak them but hesitated biting down on his lip.

“We are going to talk though.” he warned gently biting down on Q's ear making him yelp in surprise. Bond then continued to whispered seductively in Q's ear.“Promise me.” 

“Yes. Yes, I promise.” Q shifted on Bond's lap, his hard-on was getting difficult to ignore. Bond however, who was equally as hard, was doing quite well at maintaining his composure. 

“Good.” he replied, roughly turning Q around so he was straddling Bond. He kissed the younger man, bucking his hips teasingly.

“Ah!” Q whined into James' mouth, at the sensation even through their trousers. James bucked again. “Fuck.” Q began shamelessly rutting against his thigh. James grabbed Q's hips, stilling him. Q let out a pathetic whine, desperate for friction. 

“Tie.” Bond's voice came out choked and raspy, the only true indication of his arousal, aside from the obvious dilated pupils and elevated heart rate. Q's eager, nimble fingers made quick work of the knot at James' neck, then continued down the buttons on his shirt.

~  


I love you.

The words were there, hanging on the tip of his tongue. He even opened his mouth slightly to speak them but hesitated biting down on his lip. 

No. He wasn't going to do that. He can't fall in love, not with James. They promised each other “strictly professional at work; casual passionate fucking at home.” Q bitterly remembered that, it was he who first spoke those words. While it was true that they often had intimate even amorous moments together, they usually brushed them off with a quick excursion to an empty office somewhere in the MI-6. 

“Come back to me, love.” Q's thoughts were halted by a long lick up his neck from his collarbone. James had learned to tell when Q retreated back into his mind.

“Sorry.” he gasped holding James' head against his neck where more bruising kisses were being placed. 

James kissed Q's adam's apple before saying “Never apologize, Geoffery.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short.
> 
> Sorry to keep you lovelies hanging, but I have finals to prepare for.
> 
> Ugh.
> 
> Xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things left unsaid, and there are things accidentally said. The question is, which is which? James and Q have issues deciphering that.

Then, much to Q's protest James lifted Q off his feet carrying him bridal style, and half naked, down the hall. James dropped him roughly on the bed, pinning him down. 

“My legs work fine, you know.” he said with a huff. To silence him James palmed his erection inside of his trousers. Q whined, his brain screaming at him that "Yes! this is what he wanted! Yes! Yes! More!" James chuckled, pulling his trousers down, just far enough to reveal Q's throbbing cock. Clearly Q had accidentally thought that out loud. 

He was too far gone to care, he needed this, he needed James. Without much warning James took him fully in his mouth “Oooh my god.” Q instinctively weaved his fingers in James' short hair. Q squeezed his eyes shut, focusing completely on sensation. The feeling of James' mouth and tongue and “Ah!” He knew exactly how to move to drive Q crazy. 

“Fuck, I love you!” He shrieked, and for a second he could have sworn he saw stars, James swallowed everything pulling off of Q's dick with a dirty little 'pop.' 

James winked at him sloppily kissing Q's stomach, and standing up.

Q felt a little unpleasant stir in his stomach, he had tried so hard to fight the words back but they came anyway. If James was put off by it, he didn't let on. Q's mind wandered a bit as he watched James finish undressing. He snapped back to attention when James strategically cleared his throat and whispered a quiet “Geoffrey?”

~

Q didn't mean to retreat back into his mind so easily or so often, it comes with the genius mind, Sherlock used to call this little phenomenon his “mind palace.” Similarly, Mycroft called his a “mind cave.” Q had never given his place an actual name, not that he cared much if it had one. He decided to name it at a later time but right now, he was a little distracted by the sight in front of him. 

Q was perched on the edge of the bed legs dangling over the side. His cock laid limp against his thigh after a rather powerful orgasm. He was watching James rummage through the bedside table, completely starkers. 

“Found it.” he said finally snapping Q out of his daze, he was fixated on counting every freckle on James' gorgeous ass. Holding a small tube in his hand, James headed back over to Q and stood in front of the younger man kissing him languidly. 

~

He unscrewed the cap, pouring a generous amount of lube on his fingertips, slowly he reached his hands south until his index finger was level with Q's entrance. 

James pressed his finger in swallowing Q's moan in a kiss. James began stretching Q out with his finger adding a second rather quickly. He was growing impatient, and Q could tell. 

Q began rolling his hips back onto James' hand. He added a third and final finger, stretching Q out until it was painful for him to do so. Q grabbed James' wrist urging him on “Please, James fuck me, I need this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr url has been changed! It is now: oh-keptin--my-keptin.tumblr.com, which combines two of my favorite things Pavel Chekov and Dead Poets Society. 
> 
> Yep.
> 
> Okay, bye.
> 
> Xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Q gets some relief.

“I know, love.” he replied quietly, pulling his fingers out. 

The thing with James Bond is, that you expect him to be cool and domineering in the bedroom, but that just wasn't the case. 

~

James Bond only fucked in two ways. 

To be completely blunt about it.

He either fucked you needily, absolutely ravishing you, as if he'll never fuck anyone ever again. For example, when he's on a mission and that's a very real possibility. 

Or, James is quiet, and meticulous, treating your body like a gift from god himself. James Bond is careful and patient, giving it the respect and reverence he believes it deserves.

The way W sees it, this is both a beautiful gift and an irritating curse.

~

“On your stomach, Geoffrey” he said softly, it was a command that was spoken like a sweet suggestion. Q clambered to the centre of the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He carefully balanced himself on his elbows, presenting his arse to his lover. James smoothly followed him onto the bed positioning himself, on his knees, behind Q. 

Q was now half-hard again, and highly sensitive, he had to fist the sheets hear his head to avoid touching himself. “Please.” he begged, his voice slightly muffled by the pillow case. James, at an angering pace, pushed himself into Geoffery. They both moaned as James filled him up entirely. After a moment, James started moving at a snail's pace, working himself in and out of Q. 

~

“Goddammit James! Fuck me!” Q whined straining his neck to look at James. With a sly grin James pulled out entirely and re-entered Q with an even slower thrust. Making poor Q gasp loudly. James ran his hands up and then back down Q's spine cooing in his ear.

“Just enjoy it, love.” he whispered “Everyone loves a good, long, slow fuck.” each word matched his thrusts perfectly. Q whined again more frustratedly. James was right, of course. This was fantastic, each sensation was heightened tenfold. It went on for what felt like hours, James took his time, taking the two of the so close, and bringing them back down in an agonizingly pleasurable rollercoaster ride. 

~

All good things must come to an end. James picked up his speed pounding harder and harder into Q, who was practically sobbing into the pillow from the pleasure. As his orgasm built, he grabbed Q's length pumping it in time with their thrusts. 

Q let out a final shriek which he buried deep in his pillow cumming all over his stomach and James' hand. James tumbled over the edge with him, and for just a moment nothing else existed. 

As Q fell asleep next to him he could have sworn James had said; 

“I love you too, Geoffrey, I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I abandoned this story for so long! But with end of the year exams and work and blah blah blah excuses, I had to.
> 
> I'm back now, and that's what matters. 
> 
> I still love you.
> 
> Xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens as they say.

Q woke up late that morning. He reached out for Bond, but his side of the bed was cold. Q groaned sitting up and blindly searching for his glasses. Upon finding them he shoved them on his face, the blurry veil in front of his eyes lifting. 

Q got up slowly, it was Saturday and he'd hardly slept at all that night. He searched the floor for something to wear. There was a trail of clothing that stretched from the couch to the bed, he grabbed a pair of tartan boxers and a button up shirt throwing them on. 

He walked into the empty kitchen a little disappointed that Bond wasn't there. However, there was a note on the fridge:

 

Had to go in early today.

Didn't want to wake you.

New development.

X

 

Q smiled at the note. Whatever the 'new development' was it must have been important to warrant a Saturday debriefing; moreover, one when Bond was still on probation.

Q casually opened the fridge for something to eat to find breakfast was already made for him. He stuck the plate in the microwave to heat it up, putting the kettle on to boil. 

Q headed into the livingroom for his laptop. Upon entering the room Q promptly dropped the empty mug in his hands smashing it against the hardwood floor.

 

“Sherlock?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr url is oh-keptin--my-keptin.tumblr.com NOT emiliepond, I changed it. I can't make the previous note go away...
> 
> If anyone can tell me how to do that, it's be greatly appreciated.
> 
> Chapter 8 is in development...things are getting pretty interesting
> 
> *Strokes handlebar moustache* :3
> 
>  
> 
> Xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock enlists Q's help to de-tangle Moriarty's web.

Q took a moment to regain his composure, he studied his older brother intently. Sherlock's usual demeanor of cheerful snobbery was gone, and replaced by one of a broken man. Q cleared his throat over the sound of a soft whistling behind him “Kettle's just boiled.” he announced, not daring to blink in case Sherlock disappeared. Sherlock only nodded standing up. He looked disheveled, as if he'd spent the past few nights without a bed. 

Q busied himself at the stove, he shut his eyes tightly before turning around, when he opened his eyes Sherlock was still at his kitchen table. Q poured tea for the two of them, clearing his throat once again. Sherlock merely stared at his mug. 

“So, it seems congratulations are in order.” he muttered not taking his eyes away from the mug in front of him.

Q's cheeks warmed at the comment, realizing the state of his apartment, it was so obvious – even to someone with a third of the mind Sherlock had, what went on last night. The microwave screeched at the end of it's timer, saving Q the need of a response. He crossed the kitchen to retrieve his breakfast. 

Q watched as Sherlock scanned the apartment, from ceiling to floor. 

“Yes.” he said finally, drawing Sherlock's attention back “Congratulations.” Sherlock's eyebrows stitched together for a moment, trying to comprehend Q's meaning. His face paled as Q glared incessantly at his older brother, -- if that was even possible for his porcelain skin. 

“Geoffery, please, I need your help.” Q snorted loudly, crossing his arms.

“I should have known!” he spat, gazing maliciously at Sherlock “I should have known this was one of your ridiculous magic tricks!” Sherlock opened his mouth to speak but Geoffrey plowed on. “I thought you were dead! I haven't seen you in, what is it now? Three, four years? I mean, we had good reason, but you were really not going to fill me in? You convinced Mycroft to play alo-”

“Mycroft thinks I'm dead.” Sherlock's voice was quiet, so unlike himself. Q stammered for a moment,

“B-b-but I thought-” 

“You're the only one I can trust with this.” he said, running his fingers over the wood grain on the table it reminded him of home, which reminded him of John, which left his eyes swimming with tears. 

“Sherlock I-”

“He used you didn't he?” Sherlock asked, Q's mouth hung open he was stunned into silence “I know your work when I see it brother, there's no way the code was fake, it was you. It took me this long to realize it, but it was you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I think I'll leave it there for now
> 
> MWAHAHAHA


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changing perspective, James gets an assignment, but he has no idea what he's gotten himself into.

James walked briskly down to M's office the promise of a debriefing was making his fingertips itch with excitement. He glanced down at his phone, was Q not up yet? He was sure he'd be chastised for ''acting couple-y'' and leaving a note. James got to M's door and knocked, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

Tanner answered “007.” He said curtly gesturing him inside. James nodded at him in response, smoothly walking over to M's desk. His heart jumped gleefully when he saw a file awaiting him.

“I'm afraid vacation's over, Bond.” M said swiveling in his chair. James bit back his snarky reply about how it certainly wasn't a vacation. When Bond didn't respond, M continued, “Tell me what you know of James Moriarty.” 

James paused before answering, “He's the man who broke into the Crown Jewels a while back.” M nodded “and he got away with it.” M nodded again. “He's dead, he committed suicide with-” he was going to say Q's brother but stopped himself “-with Sherlock Holmes.” 

“That remains to be seen.” M said simply. James gave him an inquisitive look, “Moriarty's body was removed from the scene before one of our friends at Scotland Yard could get to him.” he paused “He claims there is reason to believe Moriarty is still out there.” James understood now.

“You want me to fix that.” he said simply, M smirked. 

“Something like that.” He pushed the envelope over to Bond who took it, “Report tomorrow morning, we'll fix you and Q up before you leave.” James left grinning to himself. He was so ready to go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q agrees to help Sherlock, but not before we get some context.

“I have no idea what you're-”

“Oh, don't play dumb.” Sherlock drawled “I'm not saying it was recent. It was years ago, no?” Q swallowed “Back when you first disappeared,” All of the oxygen was draining from the room “And you're trying to make up for it now by working for the MI6,” There was a pause, “I'm missing something aren't I?” he asked, searching Q's face for the answer “But what? What...what...wha- Oooh.” 'No, oh god no.' Q's brain was screaming, The glint in Sherlock's eye was returning, Q's stomach felt like it was slowly sinking all the way down to his pelvis. 

“You were lovers, weren't you?" Sherlock asked, with some sort of snide satisfaction "And you'd do absolutely anything to prove your worth to him,” Q was on the brink of tears. “He toyed with you until you had completed what he wanted and then he threw you out, leaving you to dwell on what you'd done.”

“It was only theories!” Q shouting desperately at Sherlock, blinking back tears, “I had no idea it would actually work! I had no idea what he was capable of! I thought I was rid of him for good, I destroyed every tie he had to me, but then, in the papers-” Q was pulling on his hair desperate for the right words “I-I-couldn't-” He sat at the table, slamming his head against the wood “I did awful things,” he cried miserably “and I'll never forgive myself, I should have been hanged! But then she came along, she saw use for me, she assigned me a job as quartermaster, she gave me a chance to work off my debt and I-” A cold hand reached out and covered his, Q picked his head up, looking at his brother through watery eyes.

"Will you help me?" he asked, Q sat up straighter, wiping his eyes.

“I'll do whatever it takes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my headcanon, I hope you like it.
> 
> Xx


	11. Chapter 11

Q stood in front of the church fidgeting in his loafers. They were new and pinching his toes in every way that makes the newness prominently unbearable. 

“Generally people enter the church during the service.” Q blinked back into awareness. James’ voice tickled the hairs on the inside of his ear, making the ear piece rather uncomfortable. Q rolled his eyes.

“You are generally really…irritating.” He grumbled back

“Don’t I know it.” He whispered Q could practically hear the wink that inevitably followed. He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes again. It was absolutely bizarre being the one out in the open and not the one offering cheeky remarks from the comfort of his office.

“I can’t believe you are making me wear this. If I wanted to wear a monkey suit for my entire life I would have signed up for field work. Or become a politician, or a priest, maybe? Well now that I think about it those are one and the same aren't they?” Q looked back at the church doors his voice trailing off slightly. He continued the dialogue; or rather monologue in his head, something he does often.

James snorted, “Because it’s a funeral, and out of respect for your brother you have to do it” there was a delicate pause “I know it’s hard, but you have to go inside, you have to face this head on.” Q felt a pang of guilt. James' voice was consoling and sympathetic. He was seriously regretting not telling Bond. Keeping these secrets was killing him inside. 

He has no idea that he’s actually seen Sherlock three times this week. The first time, in his flat the day after his “death,” the second over video chat while pretending to visit the loo, and the third well, the third time the two of them went out for a nice brunch. Q pinched his nose between the eyes, were insane, he thought to himself. “Q?”

“Hm?” Q snapped back to attention.

“Still with me then?” James asked patiently.

“Oh, right, yes of course.” Q cleared his throat and strode up the steps of the church and through the brilliant double doors. Bright hues of violet, brilliant cherry-red, and oranges and yellows danced across the floor. The Stained glass windows were catching the early morning sun spectacularly.

“Lovely day.” He heard a stout old woman comment. She was right, today was the one day this entire month that it hadn't rained. Partially dried puddles were scattered across the pavement but there wasn't a grey cloud in sight. He inspected the church more thoroughly; there were all of four attendees at this “funeral.” He recognized one of the faces as one of the detective inspectors that work up in the Yard but none of the others were familiar. Wait, wait, none of the others were familiar.

“Mycroft’s not here.” He observed scanning the church once more. “He’s not here.” He repeated. 

“I’m sure he’s coming.” James offered unconvincingly.

“He didn’t bother to show up.” There was a moment’s silence “the timing.” The elections for Prime Minister were drawing to a close this month, “Fucking hell.” Q glared at the altar wishing it to break in half from his stare. James seemed to understand what he was thinking. 

“Q…” 

“No, shhh.” Q fidgeted with the earpiece. “God, this is irritating,” and it was starting to hurt too.

“You designed it, dear.” He didn’t have a quip to match that. He took the piece out and quietly sat at the very back of the church, rather annoyed with the whole thing. He pulled out a small screwdriver and a magnifying lens that he can fasten to his glasses and began squinting over the earpiece trying to adjust it. If this little outing gave him anything at least he was able to get a field test in. 

Twenty minutes passed and Q was so absorbed in what he was doing that he almost missed the whole service. A short, fit, sandy haired man walked up the steps to speak and tripped over a pot of lilies placed near the casket. It stirred the thought; what’s actually in there? Is it simply empty? He turned his attention over to the man once again and watched him wave off anyone trying to help him and then limp over to the pulpit. “Psychosomatic.” He muttered to himself. 

The man cleared his throat. Automatically Q began studying him carefully; he could see his life story in the soft wrinkles on his forehead “Worry lines” he whispered, his shoes were gently scuffed but even so were recently polished “nervous fingers,” His suit was awkwardly bunched in certain areas. “Sweater?” he paused “oh, comfort item, wait…no,” he paused again “sentiment.” He felt a tiny stir in his chest, this man obviously knew Sherlock well even…No, it can’t be. He would have told…surely if they were… He sighed, “Poor fellow.” 

He thought about James, would he really be able to hide from him the way Sherlock hides from this man? The earpiece vibrated in his hand. Speaking of James, he was actually trying to speak to him and Q wasn’t listening. Actually, James was shouting, he quickly put it in and heard numerous frantic voices on the other line “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Q, get out, now.” 

“What? I don’t-” 

Just then, the line was cut, all Q could hear was the rustling sound of static in his ear.

A sudden flash of light and flying debris filled the air fallowed by a deafening explosion. Q’s body was thrown back into the glass window, making it rain those brilliant reds, blues, purples and oranges over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know. It's been ages. 
> 
> I love you?
> 
> I'm sorry....
> 
> Here's a chapter?
> 
> I love you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

The sterile smell coming from the walls in the room hit the back of Q's sinuses. There was a dark orange glow coming from above him, he tried to look around the room and realized his eyes were closed. He could feel his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he strained to open them. He breathed deeply; there was a soft beeping next to his right ear. He started to panic; it was one of those awful sensations of being awake and asleep at the same time. He started moving, trying anything to wake his body up. A tear rolled down his cheek escaping from his closed eyes. 

"Ja-ames." he wheezed, but he felt like his mouth was full of sand. 

“He’s waking up!” someone said, but their voice was soft and distant from him, as if on another plane of reality entirely. Someone's firm, latex fingers grabbed his wrist, jerking it slightly in their direction. Q lurched forward and grabbed her about the neck, squeezing tightly with his long, slender finger tips. People were screaming "No, stop! You're safe, stop! Stop! She won't hurt you!" but his ears were still fuzzy and disoriented. Seconds later, there was a tiny pinch in his thigh. His hand slackened slipping away from her. He watched her collapse, gasping for breath as others rushed to her side. Safe, the word swam into his mind. Relief washed over his chest, somewhat distastefully. What is safe? What does that even mean any more? His head crashed against his pillow. Soon enough the beeping gently lulled him back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, but with college and applications and the terrors of adulthood, I sort of...yeah...
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Xx

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted these on my tumblr which is emiliepond.tumblr.com same as my user name on here.
> 
> Send me prompts...I'll fill them eventually.
> 
> Xx


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